Dispersion Page 2

  He steps even closer and his head is now inches away. I tilt my chin up to maintain eye contact.

  “Whatever you think happened, whatever your worst fear is, I did more,” he says quietly. “And you brought her to me so willingly.”

  He smiles again and walks away.

  The moment he disappears into Matt’s room, my body slumps as I sit on the floor. He takes pleasure in making me squirm, but what if he isn’t talking it up? What if he did do more?

  My hands won’t stop shaking.

  I don’t care that we’re brothers. I don’t care that we need his help. If he hadn’t walked away, I’m not confident I could keep control. I want him dead…and I want to be the one to do it.

  Once Matt is back, there won’t be anything to stop me.

  My breathing hitches. Even if I kill Dominic, that won’t be enough to reverse what happened to Jess. There’s nothing I can do to take that back.

  Chapter Two

  “It’s almost time,” Dominic says after checking Matt’s pulse.

  Color has returned to Matt’s face; however, he still isn’t healthy. The grayness that overtook his body has subdued but is not entirely gone. He tore through his lower lip in his desperate attempt to hurt Allison right after he turned. It’s caked in his own blood, which has turned a rusty brown.

  I stand up and unconsciously hold my breath. Allison’s eyes widen and she shares an expectant look with me. The desperate longing in her face is unmistakable.

  I feel it, too, but toward Jess. She should be here with me, at my side. Instead, she went to our old room.

  “He’s actually coming back?” Allison’s voice shakes.

  Dominic writes something in his notebook. “Yes.”

  Matt is just another experiment to him.

  The minutes tick. Time is tedious. I’m painfully aware of every second of this wait. I study Matt for any signs of change. Nothing happens.

  “Are you sure?” This could be one of his cruel jokes to give us false hope. Even if I don’t always understand his motives, he’s forever scheming to do something. This may all be part of one of his ploys.

  Dominic glares at me. “Patience, Joe. He’s coming back. I know what I’m talking about.”

  Matt’s eyebrow twitches.

  I freeze.

  With a quick intake of breath, Allison caresses his face. “Matt, it’s me. Can you hear me?”

  Quietly, Matt responds with a groan. His eyes open and stare into nothingness. There’s no sign of any recognition. My heart drops. It was all for nothing.

  “It didn’t work,” I say, shoulders sagging.

  “Give him a little more time,” my brother says. His eyes rapidly scan Matt’s body.

  “Please come back to me.” Allison’s voice is full of emotion.

  Matt’s dulled eyes make their way to Allison. After a few seconds, they focus and he grunts. “Allison…”

  Her hands shoot to her mouth and she cries out. Dominic shines a flashlight in Matt’s dimmed, yellowed hazel eyes as he writes more notes down. Satisfied, he returns to his seat and observes.

  “What happened?” Matt asks, his words slightly slurred from the damage done to his bottom lip. Pure confusion etches itself into his boney face.

  Allison is still overwhelmed with emotion, so I say, “You turned, but we brought you back.”

  “I knew it,” he says. He gathers his strength and responds. “How?”

  “We can go over it later once you feel better. Right now, all that’s important is that you’re alive,” I say.

  Jess should be here to witness this—the reason we risked and lost so much.

  He returns his gaze to Allison. “I’ve been gone for a long time. You’re huge.”

  Allison chuckles and wipes away some tears. “You always were so romantic.”

  “I’ve been told I’m quite the Casanova,” he says.

  “And who told you that?” I ask.

  “Myself,” he says and weakly laughs at his own joke.

  Matt takes his right arm out from under the covers and freezes when he spots it. Before he turned, he had a strong, healthy body. Now, his skin is pale, covered in sores, and shockingly thin.

  Allison quickly grabs his hand and kisses it. She places it on her stomach with hers on top.

  He lets out a deep breath. “You’re beautiful.”

  Another tear rolls town Allison’s face. “I love you so much. It’s been so hard without you.”

  I can’t help but allow a small smile at the two of them. “I’m going to let Jess know you’re back.”

  Matt gestures around the room. “Speaking of her, why isn’t she here for my homecoming?”

  “She’s resting. She’ll come see you later,” Allison says, so I don’t have to.

  Without another word, I leave the room and walk down the hallway. I knock gently on our old room’s door. I’m surprised when I hear a response.

  “Please don’t come in,” Jess says.

  I rest my head against the door. “It’s me, Elliot.”

  “Please don’t come in,” Jess repeats. Her voice is so soft it barely reaches me.

  “I won’t,” I say, fighting the urge to ignore her request. “It worked. Matt is joking and back with us.”

  “It did?” Her voice is a little louder, the surprise evident in her tone.

  “Yes, Dominic actually was able to do it,” I say. I instantly regret saying his name.

  She doesn’t respond, so I say to myself, “Now I need you to come back to me.”

  I rest my head on the door for a little longer in the hope that she will reach out to me. When I accept that she’s not going to say anything, I sigh and head back.

  I reenter the room in time to hear Matt quietly ask, “How long do I have?”

  I lean against the wall. How much time did we truly buy for Matt?

  “I am not entirely sure,” Dominic says.

  Allison smiles down at Matt. “That’s not important right now. You’re alive and that’s what we should focus on.”

  Matt shakes his head and sits up slightly higher in bed. “It’s important. I need to know. You have to have some type of idea,” he says to Dominic.

  “I do not have a lot of data to support my theory, but this is what I suspect,” Dominic says. His tone is all business. “Andrew turned and we got him back. I only let him continue in the infected state for forty-eight hours. When he returned, the cancerous cells were spread enough that we could not eliminate it from his body. I tried treatment, but after a couple of months, he was in enough pain that he was ready to pass on.”

  Allison pulls Matt’s hand into her lap.

  “How long?” Matt says.

  “Is now the right time?” I don’t want him to focus on how much time he has left and not be able to enjoy it.

  As always, Dominic ignores me and says, “You were turned for about a month instead of two days. The cancer had to spread much more than it did in Andrew’s body. I have some medication that will slow its growth, but it has some serious side effects.”

  Allison glances down at her stomach. “Will he live long enough to meet our child?”

  Dominic’s mask breaks, his eyes softening. Almost instantly, his expression returns to its typical confident look. I’ve never seen compassion in Dominic, not even after our mother died. I must’ve misinterpreted it.

  “It depends on when the baby is born,” my brother finally answers.

  “How long?” Matt says again.

  “Maybe a few days,” Dominic says. A moan escapes Allison and he finishes, “but there is not a true precedent for this. I could be wrong.”

  My head whips to Dominic. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard that phrase come out of his mouth.

  “But I am confident I am correct,” he finishes.

  “When are we due?” Matt asks helplessly.

  Allison’s shoulders slump in resignation. “In more than a few days.”

  Life is so cruel. Matt turned because of an unexp
ected play at genetics, and we were able to find a miracle and turn him back only to lose him again so quickly.

  “There’s nothing more you can do?” Allison asks Dominic. Silent tears run down her face.

  “I can keep Matt comfortable as long as possible. That is about as much as I can do for him,” he says.

  Allison’s face falls. Matt gathers his strength and pulls her in for an embrace. She cries into his frail body.

  “We do have one option though,” Dominic begins. Allison’s head perks back up. “We can induce the baby early.”

  “You can do that?” I ask. I don’t know a lot about pregnancies, but there are reasons why they’re supposed to go until full term.

  “I brought some supplies from our territory for the baby. It is not guaranteed, but we can try to have the baby be born early,” Dominic says.

  “Let’s do it,” Allison says. “A father should be able to hold his child.”

  My brother opens his mouth to respond, but Matt speaks first. “Hold on. What are the risks?”

  Methodically, Dominic responds, “At this point in her pregnancy, the most likely challenge we would face would be if the child’s lungs have not yet fully developed. Though, by thirty-seven weeks, it is a minimal risk. I have brought steroids that I can administer to the child before birth to reduce that.”

  “Is it safe? I’m not going to be selfish and jeopardize their life. Our child is more important.”

  Dominic hesitates before he responds. “It will be safe.”

  “Anything else?” Allison asks.

  “In addition, the baby’s immune system will not be as strong as one carried to full term. Once again, I have medication to fight off any infection—should it occur. I don’t foresee any major complication arising from inducing the child early.”

  Matt’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Are you certain?”

  “Yes.”

  “What are we waiting on? I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore. I’m a planet,” Allison says. She wipes the tears off her face and smiles down at Matt. He easily returns her joy, and for a moment, it’s easy to forget that he’s dying. His happiness is, as it always has been, completely contagious.

  “I have something I want to do first,” Matt says. A smile plays on his ruined lips. “If I can smell myself, you all can, too. Can I shower and change clothes?”

  We all chuckle and Allison says, “Let’s get you up and clean.” She gets off the bed clumsily. I walk over to help support Matt out of bed. The two of us move the covers off of his body and I grab one of his arms to support him. He cringes in pain. I let go immediately.

  “What’s wrong with my arm?” Matt’s voice is raised in panic.

  Without saying anything, Dominic moves toward him and grabs his arm. He pulls and Matt screams. A pop echoes through the room.

  “Next time warn me, brother,” Matt says while he rubs his shoulder.

  I bite my tongue at his relatively easy nature with Dominic. Even if he doesn’t yet know everything that Dominic has done and is capable of, it’s still hard to see him view Dominic as anything less than the scum he is.

  Dominic shrugs. “Let me know when you are ready to start her labor.” He stalks out of the room and after a couple seconds, the sound of the front door opening and closing echoes throughout the house.

  “Come on, Matt, let’s get you over to the shower,” I say.

  The three of us slowly make our way to the bathroom. He stumbles awkwardly and quickly gets frustrated. “I can’t believe I’m this weak.” He grits his teeth.

  Allison studies him. “I love you.”

  Matt laughs slightly. “Good response.”

  She smiles but doesn’t say anything else.

  Keeping one arm available for him to use as support, I grab the doorknob with my other hand and push the door open. We help him to the closed toilet and guide him down. Clearly out of breath, he closes his eyes.

  If he’s this tired from the walk over, there is no way he’s going to be able to make it through a shower.

  I decide to address the obvious. “Not to be a downer or anything…”

  “I’ll help him with the bath,” Allison says.

  “Does this mean I’ll get to see you in all of your pregnant glory?” Matt grins wickedly.

  “Don’t push your luck,” she says through a smile. She leans closer to me and says only loud enough for me to hear “Change all the bedding, please.”

  I slightly nod. “Now you two kids have fun. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  She gestures to her stomach and raises her eyebrow. Chuckling as I leave the bathroom, I grab clean sheets and a bedspread from the closet. I pause by our old room and listen. Faintly, I hear Jess’s sobs. Without a second thought, I drop everything and go into the bedroom.

  She’s lying in the middle of the bed in a fetal position. She jerks when I enter the room. I make my way over to her and place my hand on her shoulder. I want to end whatever is causing her pain.

  “Please don’t,” Jess says. She flinches away and out of my reach.

  Pity swells inside me. I’m at a loss for what to do. How can I comfort someone who can’t stand for me to be in the same room as her?

  “It kills me to have you look at me like that.”

  My eyebrows furrow. “Like what?”

  “Like exactly how I feel about myself,” she says.

  I run my hands through my hair and try to erase whatever facial expression I had on my face. “What can I do to help you? Tell me what to do.”

  A fresh tear slowly runs down her face. “Let me go,” she says.

  I don’t want to do this. I care so much about her.

  “Is that what you want?”

  Jess’s eyes show her anguish, the same that I’m feeling, as she nods.

  “But I love you,” I say for the first time. I should have told her before instead of assuming she knew. I thought we had more time.

  She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it matters. Why wouldn’t it?”

  “Because it doesn’t make a difference. I don’t want to be with you,” she says. “Let me go.”

  My breath hitches. All my life, I believed I was worth less than everyone else in the territories. I thought I’d gotten past that, but all those insecurities rush back. My voice cracks when I ask, “Why?”

  “I’m not what you want anymore. I’ve been changed. The person you think you love is gone and has been replaced. She’s not coming back. You’re better off without me.”

  “What are you talking about?” My voice rises in frustration. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. “Of course you’re who I want.”

  She cringes, and a fresh sob escapes her body. “Don’t yell at me. Please leave me alone.”

  I slump over, my strength leaving. “I’m sorry.” I get off of the bed and walk away. “I don’t agree with you. I love you.”

  I thought I meant more to her than for her to discard what we had like this. Was it not the same for her as it was for me?

  I reach the door and turn to her again.

  “We’re going to induce Allison and Matt’s baby soon. I thought you would want to know and be there,” I say. I don’t wait for her response before closing the door behind me. I need to get away from that pain and rejection. I pick the bedding back up and continue with my original task.

  She was my certainty. No matter what would happen, I knew she would always be at my side. She transformed me into the person I had the potential to become. She helped me gain the self-worth and confidence that had eluded me my entire life.

  But now she wants nothing else to do with me. What else have I been wrong about?

  Chapter Three

  Allison lies on top of the clean sheets and blankets, nervous excitement bounding off of her. Freshly bathed and looking marginally better, Matt sits next to her, holding her hand.

  “This injection is going to start the process,” Dominic says. “It is goin
g to take awhile.”

  Matt says, “Hopefully not a few days.”

  I wince. The reminder of his impending death doesn’t sit well with the situation. His time left isn’t measured in years, months, weeks, or even days. He’s down to his last hours.

  “Are you ready?” Dominic asks.

  “So ready,” Allison says. Matt leans in and kisses her on the forehead through his mangled bottom lip.

  My brother gently injects her with some medication and steps back. “I am going to be outside if you need me. Call out, and I will come back in if something happens.”

  “What?” Allison exclaims. Her eyes widen in fear.

  “You’re leaving now?” I ask.

  “Like I said earlier,” he says slowly, “it is going to take awhile. Frankly, this is going to be a bit of a waiting game for her, and there is nothing I can do. I would rather get out of the house and explore.”

  “You’ll be close enough to hear us?” Matt asks, needing his reassurance.

  His eyes flicker momentarily at Allison, and he returns his gaze to Matt. “I’ll hear you,” he promises. Before we can question him further, he leaves the room to go back outside.

  “Well, he’s a character, your brother,” Matt says to break the silence that has overtaken the room. Allison and I automatically exchange glances. “What did I miss?”

  “We went to him for help after you turned to see if we could bring you back,” Allison says.

  “I was able to put that together. I assumed that’s why he was here,” Matt says.

  Allison bites her lip.

  I continue our story. “When we got there, he drugged us and did their genetic experiments.” Matt’s mouth opens, but I ignore it and keep talking. “We were there for almost a month when my friend, Andrew, came and rescued us all. I went through a couple of uncomfortable tests but nothing extreme. He didn’t do anything to Allison. I think he was waiting on her to have the baby.”

  “Is that true?” Matt eyes Allison.

  “Besides being stuck in a room and not knowing what was going on, I wasn’t mistreated at all,” Allison says. He visibly relaxes.