Dispersion Page 5

  Callie drops the stick off at Jess’s feet, and she tosses it again.

  “At Potentia, there weren’t any dogs in the territory. My grandparents had a dog when I was growing up, though he died a long time ago.”

  “I didn’t think I’d ever have one, but now that she’s here, I can’t imagine not keeping her with me,” Jess says.

  “I guess it’s never too late for anything then,” I whisper.

  She drops her eyes. “Sometimes it is, Elliot.”

  Without another word, she turns and walks back to the cabin. Callie’s giant head darts between her new toy and Jess before taking one last chew and chasing after her new owner.

  I sit down and run my hands through my hair. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. All I want to do is bring her in, yet I keep managing to push her away even further.

  I sigh and get back to my feet, following Jess’s trail that she created about five minutes earlier, and go inside the house.

  The hairs on my neck prickle, though I’m not sure why. I look around the living room in alarm, trying to figure out what feels off. Nothing stands out and everything is in place, but my gut screams that something is wrong.

  Finally, it hits me. It’s the silence. There’s always at least some noise, whether it be conversation, weak attempts at laughter, Josie crying, or even Matt’s coughing. Now, there’s nothing but the steady ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

  “Hello?” I call out, heart banging in my chest.

  Dominic’s head peeks out of Matt and Allison’s room. When he spots me, he closes the door behind him and walks over.

  “What’s going on? Why is it so quiet?” I ask, though I can sense the dread as to what’s coming.

  “It is time. Matt is dying,” Dominic says.

  “There’s nothing else you can do? You’re not saying this because you want to move on as soon as possible and Matt is preventing that from happening?” I ask in desperation. It’s not fair.

  Dominic narrows his eyes. “Despite what you may think of me, Joe, I’m being truthful. Do you not think that if there were a way to cure the cancer, I would still be in Potentia planning on how to save everyone?”

  I open my mouth to protest but close it again as I see the truth in his words. He left Potentia because he no longer saw hope. If he could have saved everyone, he would have stayed. Not because he cares about anyone other than himself, but in a selfish desire to be the hero and get the recognition that came with it.

  His tone softens as he runs his hand through the beard he grew after the infection started. “It will not be much longer now. Go spend what time is left with your friend.”

  I turn back around and reopen the door. Allison stares at me with a fierce desperation. I shake my head, and she closes her eyes. When she reopens them, that desperation is gone and in its place, an acceptance is there. She readjusts her grip on Matt’s hands and leans her head against his thin chest.

  Matt stirs in his uneasy sleep but stills again.

  “Matt?” Allison asks and rubs his face with her free hand. “Come back.”

  Resting in the crook of his arms, Josie continues to sleep peacefully, not knowing what’s going on. Jess stands in the corner, watching the scene unravel, seemingly showing no emotion—though I know that’s not the case. Callie sits by her feet.

  “I need to say goodbye,” Allison says as her voice cracks with emotion. “Please.”

  Roused by her voice, Matt is able to break back into consciousness. His eyes briefly open to see Allison and close again.

  “Since you said ‘please’…” he mutters.

  “Matt!” Allison exclaims, fresh tears falling down her face.

  “I’m still here,” he says, though all of the strength is gone from his voice.

  Dominic was, once again, right. Matt’s not going to be with us much longer.

  “How do you feel?” Allison asks and cringes at his pained expression. She doesn’t wait for him to answer. “Thank you for being my life and loving me—through it all. I wish more than anything we had more time, but I wouldn’t change one second of our lives together.”

  “Even the…jokes?” he asks.

  A choked laughter escapes as Allison responds, “Yes, especially those.”

  Matt fights to open his eyes again. “You…and now our daughter…are the best parts about me.” He struggles to lift his head but is unable to. “I can feel Josie, but I can’t see her.”

  “She’s sleeping in your arms,” I tell him. “She looks happy.”

  “Elliot…” Matt’s croak barely reaches me across the room. It’s so weak and pitiful.

  “I’m right here, brother,” I repeat his own saying back to him once I kneel closer to him on the bed.

  He attempts a smile, but his broken bottom lip turns it into a terrifying grimace.

  “Protect and care for them in my stead. Promise me,” he whispers.

  “I promise,” I say as I gently touch his hand. I’m not even sure if he registers the touch. He’s so far gone.

  We watch, hopeless, as Matt’s weakened body fights its way through another coughing fit. Once he finally recovers, his chest struggles to breathe, rising and dropping rapidly as he wheezes in an attempt to get enough oxygen. Barely open, his eyes scan the room.

  “Here,” Allison tells him and wipes her face.

  She leans down, careful not to disturb Josie, and kisses him on his ruined lips.

  “I…love you…so much,” Matt says. The effort of speaking causes him to gasp for breath, his fallen chest rising less and less each time.

  Allison’s hands cradle his face. “You can go now. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Her tears land on Matt’s closing eyes.

  His breathing continues to hitch, as his newborn daughter lies in the crook of his elbow—perfectly content and oblivious that she’s about to experience the moment when she loses her father.

  Matt’s chest rises one last time before stilling. His exhale of breath echoes throughout the room.

  We all look expectantly at Dominic while he listens for a heartbeat. He makes eye contact with Allison and nods his head slightly.

  I lean back on the floor. I want to be out of this room and away from all this pain. I thought I had prepared myself for this, but there is no way I could have.

  After all we sacrificed to make this happen, it’s over.

  I focus on my breathing. I have to be strong enough to handle this. Allison drops her head and falls back into the chair. Her tears fall silently down her face.

  Jess reaches down and takes Josie, who fusses at the sudden movement.

  My brother makes his way to leave the room. When he passes Allison, he lightly touches her shoulder in a surprising display of compassion. I don’t think she even notices his touch. The only thing she’s aware of is her sorrow.

  The door closes and Jess’s shoulders relax. With one arm holding Josie, she uses the other to pull Allison into an embrace. The two women hold each other for support with Josie in the middle.

  I make my way closer to Matt and look down. What a difference from the first time we met when he rescued the two of us. His last words to me echo in my mind. I vowed to protect his family; they’re already a part of me.

  I say my last words to his unhearing ears. “Thank you for showing me how a man and father should act. I’ll forever be grateful for that.”

  I squeeze his hand and drop my head.

  Chapter Six

  The grief of losing Matt permanently shadows our every move, yet somehow, time still passes. Without Josie, I’m not sure how Allison would have reacted. During Matt’s makeshift funeral, Allison clutched her with a desperate longing. Jess was faithfully by her side, offering whatever support she could.

  Josie is now a couple weeks old. Though I agree with Allison whenever she asks if she looks like Matt, I don’t see it yet. She still looks like a standard newborn baby.

  I sit on the patio and look out in the distance. Jess has been go
ne for a few hours with Callie.

  Finally, an exultant bark announces their arrival. I exhale.

  “Hey, girl,” I say, greeting Callie with a smile as she sprints toward me. Although no one would consider this hairy beast to be a lap dog, she hops up to share my chair. I tilt my head away to avoid her attempt to lick my face.

  “Down.” Jess’s voice is stern. Callie complies immediately and jumps off the chair.

  “I don’t mind,” I say, watching Callie, careful to avoid Jess’s eyes.

  “She needs to learn her size,” Jess replies. Darkened blood covers her body. She continues inside, leaving Callie outside with me.

  Since she’s gradually recovered physically, she’s been going out more and more to kill the Letum. Each time she comes back, she walks with more confidence and her head slightly higher, keeping it an unspoken agreement not to discuss her pain. Jess won’t let anyone come with her, so I’m thankful for whatever limited protection Callie can offer her.

  Once the door closes, I pat on my lap and Callie jumps back up. She sighs in contentment and rests her head against my shoulder. Listening to the sound of her, I allow my breathing to relax. With so many horrible things happening, her warmth is reassuring.

  “Thank you for finding Jess,” I say to Callie. “You’ve helped her in ways that I haven’t been able to.”

  Callie tilts her head. She looks like she understands what I’m saying, but then she barks, licks my face, and jumps off my lap. She runs forward and looks back at me, barking until I join her in the grass to chase her around the front yard.

  I wish we’d had a dog when I was growing up in Potentia. It would have been nice not to have felt so alone all the time.

  Dominic’s voice interrupts my distraction. “Who is playing with who?”

  Callie lowers her ears. I pet her head while I turn to glare at my brother. “Why do you always have to do that?”

  His eyes light up as he smirks. “What did I do now?”

  I clench my jaw. “Every time I start to enjoy myself, you come around and do something to remind me how much I despise you.”

  “I’m a man of many talents,” he says, still smiling.

  I take a deep breath. “What do you want?”

  He walks closer, and Callie approaches him. He puts his hand out for her to smell, but she’s disinterested. Her hackles rise in anticipation. Dominic’s grin widens further.

  “I want to discuss moving on,” he says.

  I examine him closely, waiting for the catch. “I agree. It’s time that you moved on.”

  “Oh, Joe, don’t act like this. You remember our deal, I assume?” He quickly continues before I can answer. “We agreed that I would accompany you and bring Matt back to consciousness. I went beyond the call of duty and added a family union to the mix. Allison has had time to recover after the birth. Now you all have to go with me to join Acroisia.”

  “I still don’t understand why you need us to get back there,” I say. “You realize we’re going to slow you down, right?”

  “If they have any inkling as to what the real cause of the infection is, they will not allow a Planned to join them. If I go with you, I will rely on the fact that we are brothers to help shield me from exposing myself as Planned.”

  “I’m not as confident as you are this will work. You and I are built differently, Dominic. I’m quite a bit smaller. My hair is darker,” I say.

  “I am starting to believe we share more similarities than either of us would care to admit.” Dominic smirks. “Besides, it is obvious that you and Allison are Unplanned. It will help me assimilate into their group—as long as everyone remembers our story.”

  “And why would I want to lie for you? After all that you did to Jess…”

  He looks down at me. “Joe, I am not the only one you are going to have to lie for. They are going to suspect Jess as well. If you do not lie for me, I may be forced to throw her under also.”

  “She’s never said if she’s Planned or not, she may not be—” I start.

  Dominic throws his head back and laughs. “Wake up. Just because you do not want her to be Planned, does not change the fact that she so obviously is.”

  If she’s Planned, that means she could turn at any time, like Dominic. What if that happened? I may have lost her already, but at least I know she’s alive.

  I sigh and gesture toward the road. “When do you want to go?”

  “Let’s gather all of our supplies and leave tomorrow. We will take the vehicle far east to Acroisia.” He stares me down. “You better make sure you remember the story.”

  I ignore his threat and turn my attention away from him. There’s only so much of my brother I can take. Luckily, he takes the hint and walks away, probably to check the barriers again.

  Allison steps through the patio door, yawning.

  “Still not sleeping?” I ask.

  With her free hand, she rubs her face. “Not exactly.”

  I hold out my arms. “Why don’t you give her to me for a bit?” She opens her mouth to object, but I continue before she can argue. “We’ll be fine.”

  She looks down at Josie as she bites her bottom lip. “You’ll wake me if you need anything?”

  “Yes.”

  She carefully hands Josie to me. Freshly accused of being difficult, Josie lies innocently in my arms. She’s not sleeping but stares up at me contentedly. I wonder how much she can comprehend.

  Callie sniffs Josie and touches her face with her cool nose. Josie’s tiny hand reaches out and touches the dog, who licks her face. Josie closes her eyes, but doesn’t cry out.

  Callie sits back and stares out in the distance as if she’s keeping watch for us.

  Freshly showered and in a clean, white shirt, Jess sits down on the other side of Callie. “Where’s Dominic?”

  “He walked past the trees to the west last I saw him,” I say. “This place is a lot smaller than before.”

  “You’re telling me…” she murmurs.

  “Dominic wants to leave for Acroisia soon now that Allison has had some time to recover,” I say.

  Her eyes light up. “He’s leaving?”

  “We all are. That was part of the agreement, remember? He would bring Matt back and in return we would travel to Acroisia with him to help cover up the fact that he’s Planned.”

  “I’m sorry, Elliot. I’m not going with you,” Jess says while looking at her feet.

  I look away from Josie, eyes wide. “What do you mean? Of course you’re coming with us.”

  “I’m not,” Jess repeats. Her voice is even, devoid of any emotion.

  I rub my forehead, trying to think of what to do. It seemed like Callie was helping her heal. I thought things would be getting better by now.

  “Yes, you are,” I repeat and shake my head.

  Jess continues to stare down at her feet, her bruised face finally starting to heal, though her nose was never set right so it’s slightly crooked. She wouldn’t let any of us touch her to fix it—even Allison—and didn’t address it herself.

  “Why are you so determined to leave us, to”—my voice breaks—“to leave me?”

  “I’ve already left,” Jess whispers.

  I’ve never known Jess to lie or be anything but honest. That statement is no exception. It’s hard to believe this is the same person who captivated me. What the hell did Dominic do to her?

  “Come back,” I beg. “I promise I’ll protect you.”

  Jess finally looks at me. Her eyebrows are furrowed, trying to hold in her emotions, making her sharp features even more prominent.

  “Elliot, I can’t. Okay? I can’t be the person you want me to be. I can’t even look at you. I can’t.” She tears her eyes away and back to the ground.

  I try to blink back my emotion, ignoring the fat tear falling down my cheek. “Why?” I whisper.

  “Whenever I look at your eyes, all I see is Dominic. Did you know the two of you have the exact same shade of blue? In my nightmares, it’s thos
e eyes that break through and wake me up, frozen in fear. I can’t look at you and see those same eyes looking at me when I’m awake. It’s too painful.”

  “I’m not my brother, Jess. I would never hurt you.”

  Josie cries lightly before settling back down.

  “You’re hurting me now. You may not mean to, but you are. When you look at me, all I see is your pity. I can’t stand it,” Jess says.

  I admit my biggest fear. “I don’t know how to be the person you need. All I want is to help and give you strength, but you’re blocking me.”

  She briefly looks back up before turning away. “Maybe you’re not what I need anymore.”

  Before I can respond, she whistles at Callie and the two of them walk into the shadows of the forest.

  Careful not to disturb Josie, I sit down.

  I gently rub Josie’s face and her eyes close tighter in reaction. She doesn’t yet understand the terrible world she was born into.

  Overwhelmed, I watch the sun as it slowly sets.

  -----

  Behind me, the door creaks open.

  “Thanks for watching her. How was she?” Allison says, though her voice is still slurred from sleep.

  “Fine,” I respond, still staring out to the trees where Jess walked away.

  “What happened?” Allison’s voice is now more alert as she scans the surroundings for any hint. When she doesn’t see anything, she asks, “Jess or Dominic?”

  It almost hurts to say her name. “Jess.”

  “Oh, Elliot,” Allison starts as she gingerly sits down and puts an arm around my shoulder. Her touch is comforting but doesn’t have the same effect Jess’s used to. “What happened?”

  “She’s not coming with us.”

  Allison takes a quick intake of breath. “What do you mean?”

  “She doesn’t want anything to do with me. I…” I struggle to find the right words. It’s all so helpless. “I love her so much, Allison. I don’t understand how she doesn’t feel that way about me anymore. How am I so off base?”

  Allison squeezes my shoulder to bring me closer. With her other hand, she holds Josie’s tiny foot.